Young Lady?

Our procurement manager just got on the elevator with me and said something that involved referring to me as “young lady.”

I don’t even remember what we were talking about, because as soon as he called me “young lady,” I felt like I was in elementary school and being scolded for drawing on a desk* or something, rather than standing in an elevator at my very grown-up type of job.

I know the men I work with are old enough to be my father, but I just can’t believe someone just called me “young lady.” I’m going to retreat into my cube now and spend the rest of the day feeling like I’m about 10 years old….

On another note, as I was typing this the word “young” started to look really weird to me, to the point where I started to wonder if anyone would know what I was talking about. I hate those moments where perfectly normal words start to look like they aren’t English just because you look at them too long.

* Not that I ever did such a thing.

Sigh...

I just spent the last eight days in all day meetings, and feel like I’m finally able to come up for air. A few random thoughts:

****

You know you’re working late when the cleaning people come and turn the lights out on your floor of the office, leaving you to stumble through a maze of cubicles in the dark to turn them back on. What’s worse is when you don’t know where the light switches are for your floor of the office, and have to spend five minutes fumbling around the walls trying to find them.

****

My Canadian clients have just notified me that people in Canada like to drink tomato juice mixed with beer.

My entire family is Canadian and I’ve spent plenty of time in Canada, but this is one thing I had never heard of, and I’m completely disgusted just imagining what this must taste like.

Now said clients are determined to get me to try this nasty concoction next time we end up at a happy hour together (note to self: don’t accept any happy hour invites from clients in next few weeks

****

Sometimes engineers just don’t know when a joke shouldn’t be taken any further (as in, when it’s not very funny in the first place, and probably shouldn’t be continued).

I’ve been facilitating an eight-day meeting at work - it’s me and 10-15 other engineers every day, and of course I’m the only female and I’m at least 10 years younger than the youngest man in the room.

So, one morning we all show up and everyone gets situated at the big table in the conference room. Everyone’s all pumped up with coffee and ready to go.

Some engineer decides to break the ice with a bad joke – “Here we are again, the knights of the round table.”

(See – not so funny, eh?)

Everyone chuckles.

Then everyone turns to look at me at the head of the table.

Apparently it dawns on them that I’m female, and don’t resemble a knight.

Awkwardness ensues.

Finally, someone decides to save the moment with the following statement (drum roll please…):

“And Stacey’s Queen Guinevere.”

OMG.

Have you ever heard anything that made you want to cringe more? And I had to plaster a smile on my face and laugh. Seriously.

****

It’s amazing how two extra hours can mean so much when your life has become out-of-control busy. I finished up a long meeting a couple or hours early today, and I feel like I’m in heaven. I just want to sit back in my chair and let out a huge sigh of relief. I’m going to leave the office on time for the first time in weeks, and I can’t wait to get home during daylight and go for a run. Yay - I’m excited just thinking about it!

Sometimes the stressful times make me appreciate my usual daily habits that much more…

Silver Lining

Grrr....

I'm cranky this month. Work is out of control busy, and I'm not too excited about it. I managed to finish a painting this weekend though, which is better than nothing, right? And I rode my bike yesterday for the first time in ages, which is a good step in the right direction. So it's not all that bad I suppose!


I think it's kind of ironic that I painted this and titled it "Silver Lining", considering that my entire focus for the past two weeks has been trying to find the positive in a not-so-positive work situation.

Title: "Silver Lining"
Medium: Oil on Canvas
Size: 16x20"

Edited to add that my sister has informed me that she thought this looked like a cheesy-religious-god-light type of painting on first glance (she said it much more nicely, of course). In my defense, it looks a lot better when you can see the brushwork etc. - it's not all smooth. There's a better picture on my website. Honestly - I try not to paint anything that could resemble a Kinkade painting in any way, shape, or form.

Creativity

I’ve been thinking about creativity a lot lately.

I think I buy into a misconception that engineering is a left-brained activity –devoid of creativity, the opposite of the arts. The reality is that my job demands creative thinking 40 hours a week. I’ve never designed a system that was just like the one I designed before, and it always seems to take the combined efforts of a room full of people to come up with a suitable solution for every problem. It’s tough for me to go to work all day, then go home and still have the energy to paint. I use up my creative energy solving problems at work, and come home with little left to apply to my art.

People who aren’t familiar with art think it must be a relaxing activity - a release, if you will. But it isn’t. Not for me anyways.

For me, painting is anything but relaxing. Painting can be exhausting. It’s one of the most difficult things I’ve ever tried to master. I’ve been oil painting for 5 years now and am just now starting to turn out work that I wouldn’t be embarrassed to hang in a gallery. And when I look at my best paintings now, I know with 100% certainty that I still have a long way to go.

I used to struggle with the reality that I didn’t have the skill to do what I wanted to do with my art. I think that society conditions us to believe that artistic talent is something bestowed on us by God, and that the greats were born with the ability to create masterpieces. When we fall short of perfection, it’s easy to believe that we just weren’t born with enough talent. It makes for an easy excuse – a reason to give up.

I’m starting to understand that this is a big lie. I’ve met a lot of successful artists over the past two years, and none of them got where they are without a lot of hard work. That might sound like common sense, but in the art world I don’t think it is common sense. People believe that creativity comes in great flashes of light, and only to an inspired few.

I believe that you might start with a bit of talent, but that it isn’t going to get you anywhere if you don’t know how to channel it.

When I was at the bookstore the other day, I picked up Twyla Tharp’s book, “The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life.” The title is kind of gimmicky and self-help oriented, but it looked interesting and I thought I’d give it a read. I’m glad I did – I got a lot out of it.

It’s not so much a guide to being creative as it is a thesis on the creative process and a view into the work habits that have turned Tharp into a successful choreographer. It talks a lot about what one needs to do to foster the right environment to support the creative process, and it’s not full of touchy-feely suggestions like you might expect. It all boils down to discipline and hard work. Again - common sense, but a refreshing reminder that art is not about staring at a blank canvas waiting for inspiration. It’s about deciding what you want, and having the discipline and preparation to get you there. I’d recommend this book to anyone who is remotely into the arts – whether it be music, writing, dance, or visual arts, I think the concepts in it are applicable, and it’ll get you thinking about what being creative means.

Home Sweet Home?

So, Nate and I have always had this dream of living in the mountains, and we're always on the lookout for the perfect mountain property. My main requirement for a piece of land is that it be in or near a cool mountain town, and that it have a nice view. Nate's a little more picky and wants to be near a lake (slightly hard to come by in Colorado - not much water here!!).

Over the past two years we've fallen in love with Steamboat Springs, and decided that even if we never move to the mountains we'd at least like to have a cabin somewhere near Steamboat where we can spend summers and go for ski trips in the winter.

Turns out that there's a lake just south of town called Stagecoach Lake. There used to be a ski area near the lake that operated for a few years in the 70's before going bankrupt. The area was just starting to be developed when the ski area went under, and hasn't been developed much further since. Because the area hasn't been fully developed (many lots don't have utilities at all), the lots are still semi-affordable (yay!).

My husband, being the water junkie that he is, decided that this was the perfect location for our future mountain cabin. Disappointed that no waterfront lots were for sale at all in 2005, he took matters into his own hands and sent letters to all of the waterfront property owners, asking if they would be interested in selling. Two of the property owners are willing to sell, and we're seriously considering buying one of the lots.

Since we were in Steamboat skiing this weekend, we drove down to the lake (it's a 20 minute drive from downtown Steamboat), and took a look at both lots. Both lots are technically waterfront lots - the only land between them and the water is owned by the state. One lot sits lower and closer to the water, and one lot sits higher but has a better view. We're trying to figure out if the lot closer to the water would be a better investment before we decide which one to buy.


(Yes, I really am a big nerd. But the diagram is meant to be illustrative of the lot locations, so I just had to include it.)

Either way, I'm excited. It would be a great location to build - isolated enough to be a nice getaway, close to good skiing and a cool town, next to a wilderness area with a bunch of trails, and on the water so Nate can waterski in the summer.


Let's just hope we can agree on what lot to buy and get things moving!

Hitting the Slopes

I just got back from a weekend of skiing in Steamboat Springs and I'm really wishing I could have just stayed there.

If only I was a good enough skier to consider being a ski bum... Maybe I should work on my skills.

A bunch of friends from Chicago flew out for the weekend, and we decided to rent a condo in Steamboat so we could avoid driving home in ski traffic every night. It turned out to be a fantastic idea - Steamboat has had a record amount of snow this season, so the conditions were perfect!

Me and Nate getting ready to go:


Scott conquering the mountain of snow in the parking lot:

The view from mid-mountain:

A failed attempt at skiing in 3 feet of powder:

Experience or Excuses?

Seems like I haven’t been doing much other than work lately. I took the week off after Christmas and had a fabulous time painting, getting my website updated, and getting back on track with running and swimming. I’ve been paying for it ever since I returned – I’m completely buried in work!

After working all weekend and staying at the office late the past three nights, I’ve come to the conclusion that this is just not what I want to do long-term.

Well, okay – I’d already reached that conclusion a long time ago, but sometimes I like my job for a minute and think to myself, “Well, they pay me pretty well so it can’t be that bad, right?” Sometimes the comfort of having a nice steady job is appealing, you know?

But I just don’t think that’s what life is all about. The past few weeks have jolted me back to reality. It’s painfully obvious that in the field I’m in, career advancement means more responsibility which means more work which means more stress. And I just don’t know how intelligent I would be if I knowingly chose to devote my life to that for the next few decades.

Fact is, I want to have time to do the things I like to do outside of work. I want to eventually have a family and be able to see them every once in a while. And I want to give my art a serious chance, not just as another hobby.

So I think this is the year that I make an honest effort at trying to make something of my art. It’s not like I’m losing anything by trying – I don’t have to quit my job to try it, I just need to rearrange my priorities for a year. If that means I have to spend most of my spare time painting and marketing, so be it. It’s worth it to give it a try. And at the end of the year it won’t be a “What if?” anymore – it’ll be a yes or no.

I read this quote on Wil’s blog a long time ago, and I love the way it speaks to me:

“What we have is based upon
moment-to-moment choices of what we do.
In each of those moments, we choose.

We either take a risk
and move toward what we want,
or we play it safe and choose comfort.
Most of the people, most of the time, choose comfort.

In the end, people either have
excuses or experiences;
reasons or results;
buts or brilliance.

They either have what they wanted
or they have a detailed list
of all the rational reasons why not."

~ Anonymous

I don’t want to play it safe forever. I don’t want to have a long list of excuses someday. I’d rather aim for brilliance and fail than say I never tried for fear of exiting my comfort zone.

I want to move forward - I want to choose experience over excuses.

Another New Year!

This morning I took a look through my triathlon training log from this time last year, and realized that a lot has changed in a year. Now that I’m a week and a half into 2006, I figure it’s time to review 2005 and set a few goals for this year (I’m such a good procrastinator that I don’t even make New Year’s Resolutions until after the New Year!).

So, to recap 2005, I present the good, the bad, and the ugly:

The Good:

• Went to Maui for a week with Nate to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary and had a fabulous time (saying we’ve been married 5 years still makes me feel old – I keep having to remind myself I’m only 27…)
• Spent a ton of time in the mountains, including weekend trips to Steamboat Springs, Vail, and Aspen and a 5-day trip to Telluride.
• Hiked to some beautiful places that I’ve never been before, and spent some great nights sleeping under the stars.
• Got a big promotion at work and transitioned from staring at my computer all day to managing people (bit of a mixed blessing, actually, but more on that later…)
• Increased my triathlon training time and distances, and met some cool new people in the process. Cut 14 minutes off my Danskin Triathlon time from 2004, even with a foot injury that kept me slow on the run.
• Made a ton of progress with my painting. Had a great time in a 4-day painting workshop with Jay Moore in Rocky Mountain National Park, and finally made some progress toward a landscape portfolio.
• Finally learned to golf so I can hang out with Nate more often.

The Bad:

• Worked too much. I started the year working overtime for an awful project manager, and managed to end the year working OT on a different project. I got a promotion mid-year which completely stressed me out all through September, October, and November. Learned that I have no desire to climb the corporate ladder!
• Ended up with a nasty case of extensor tendonitis in my foot and had to cut my triathlon season short after training my butt off all spring.
• Didn't manage any backpacking trips - just hiking and camping. It's just not the same when you don't get away from everything!

The Ugly:

• This time last year my Dad had just had quadruple bypass surgery for his heart, and my mom was healing from a nasty broken shoulder. Started off the year with way too many evenings in the hospital, hoping everyone would end up healthy. Luckily they did, and I’m thankful they caught my Dad’s heart blockages before they caused a heart attack!

My favorites of 2005:

• Best Book: “Searching for God Knows What” – Donald Miller
• Best CD: “In Between Dreams” – Jack Johnson
• Best Movie: Tough to decide, but probably the new Harry Potter (Goblet of Fire)
• Best Race: 5430 Sprint Triathlon, Boulder, Colorado (great organization and course!)
• Best Trip: Definitely Maui. Can’t beat laying around on the beach with a margarita in hand!

Luckily the good outweighs the bad and the ugly, but it was a stressful year and I’m kind of glad to see it go. I’m hoping that 2005 will be the year that I do the following:

• Obtain gallery representation for my landscape paintings
• Get a painting accepted to the Arts for the Parks competition or an Oil Painters of America show.
• Find the right piece of property to buy in Steamboat Springs so Nate and I can eventually build the mountain cabin we’ve been dreaming about for years.
• Think about having kids (yes, think about it – I’m not committing to anything here)
• Swim 200,000 yards (swam ~80,000 in 2005, which wasn’t nearly enough considering that I love the water)

There, now they’re all in writing so I’m committed. Here’s to a great 2006!!

171,868 Miles

You know it's time to replace your 1992 Toyota Camry when you turn up the defrost in the morning and snow starts blowing out of the defrost vents into your car.

And you know you're not a morning person when you realize it's snowing in the car and you start looking around to see which window is open, even though it's not snowing outside.

But it's SO nice to not have a car payment... sigh...

From the Top

Woohoo!! I finished this painting this morning - I think I started it at the end of October, but it seems like I've been working on it for ages... Now I just have to sign the thing!


This is the view from the top of Trail Ridge Road in Rocky Mountain National Park, painted from a reference photo I took at the end of June. I really worked on conveying the mood of the landscape with this one, and I'm pretty happy with it, so I thought I'd share it. Details:

Title: From the Top
Medium: Oil on Linen Canvas Panel
Size: 18x24"

I'll probably start posting my paintings here as I finish them...