Art and Motherhood

"Spring Green"
Oil on Panel
30x40"
2012

Back in 2010 I responded to one of Robert Genn's newsletters where he talked about juggling art and motherhood, and my response got published at the bottom of the clickback on his website. I couldn't believe at the time how many emails I got from artists struggling to juggle painting and motherhood, and I still get emails today from women who want advice based on my response. Because painting isn't a job with a salary and regular hours, I think a lot of women struggle to maintain a career in the arts when they first have small children. I've joked to my husband more than once that I could probably have a decent blog following if the only topic I discussed was art and motherhood! Anyhow, based on the response I've gotten from my comment on someone else's blog post in 2010, I thought I should go ahead and publish what I said here for my regular readers. It's two years later and I have some additional thoughts now that my kids are getting older - I might put some of those in an additional post if there's any interest. Anyhow, here's my advice for moms (sorry guys) - let me know in the comments if you have any additional advice:

I'm a professional painter and a mother to a sweet 4 year old daughter and 10 month old whirlwind of a son. I quit my stable chemical engineering job when I had my daughter so I could stay at home with her and paint. I didn't realize at the time how much work making a living as an artist can be, nor did I anticipate the number of times I'd find myself in tears due to the stress of it all and the feelings of inadequacy I felt as I couldn't be the best I could be at being a parent OR my painting career. Over the years, I've learned to just do the best I can do. I try to stay positive, I work hard, and I refuse to give up. Since I've had my children, I've been published in major art magazines, won awards at national shows, and been invited into galleries and shows. It's possible to be a parent and a successful artist. And while I can't say for sure, I'd like to think I'm a better artist because of my children and the creativity they bring to my life. My advice for Cedar Lee (and all the other frazzled artist-parents out there) follows:

- Paint when you can. Even if you can only carve out an hour here and there while the baby naps, or a few hours after bedtime, get in the studio and work. You need to adapt your working style to make spontaneous, short bursts of painting productive. If your baby goes to bed at eight, have a cup of coffee and hit the studio until 11. Sometimes those quiet hours at night are the best times to work.

- Get help. It's easy to think that you must be there for your child 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but it will benefit you and your son to find a way for you to have a few hours of kid-free painting time on a regular basis. Find a relative or a neighbor who can babysit a few days a week, or find a school or daycare center that you trust. My kids go to preschool a couple of days a week. They love being with other kids, and those days are my days to paint, paint, paint! We all end up happier on the days we have together.

- Set your priorities. Are painting and motherhood your main priorities? Then drop the other things you're trying to do. I used to blog regularly, and loved doing it, but after I had my son I knew it was ultimately cutting into my painting time so I set it aside. I try to limit my internet time. My house isn't as clean as I wish it could be. My husband doesn't get a home-cooked meal every night of the week. But I spend a lot of quality time with my kids and husband and my galleries are stocked - those are my priorities.

- Focus. When you have time set aside for painting, make sure you paint. Don't check your email, don't return phone calls, don't clean your studio - just paint. You can do all those other things with baby in tow, so don't waste precious time procrastinating.

Having children has brought a sensitivity to my art that wasn't there before. Try to stay positive and stay in tune with the ways that having children can change your work for the better. And know that it gets better - that ten month old that gets into everything right now will soon be a four year old who loves to set up an easel next to you and paint, and before long that four year old will be in school every day and you'll be wondering where the time went. Don't focus on the dilemmas facing you as a mother and an artist - focus on solutions instead, and be grateful every day for the two wonderful and fulfilling jobs you have as an artist and a mother.

A Day in the Life as a Mom

"June Aspens"
Oil on Panel
18x14"
2008

Ugh. This week has been a total disaster.

Aspen kicked things off on Monday night by waking up every 10 minutes. She's had a cold for a week or so and it got nasty this weekend and she had a cough that just wouldn't let her sleep. Because she was so sick, she stayed home from daycare on Tuesday. Nate's mom watched her for the afternoon so I could paint, but I ended up having to drive over and pick her up early to make an emergency trip to the pediatrician when she spiked a 103 degree fever despite regular dosing with Tylenol. Cue another long night of no sleep...

After a couple of nights of little to no sleep, my own cold got worse so I felt horrible yesterday on top of everything. Aspen was finally feeling a bit better on antibiotics, but still not sleeping so well. Nate decided to be a nice husband and take night duty and sleep in her room so I could get some rest.

I thought I'd get a good night's sleep and all would be well today, until I woke at 3:30 am to the sound of Nate puking his guts out in our bathroom. I'm seriously hoping it's a case of food poisoning from the hot dog he ate at the golf course, because if Aspen and I get the stomach flu on top of all this, I'm going to completely lose it!

So, I left Nate in our room and came out to sleep on the couch so I could hear Aspen. Of course, she woke at 6:00 am and wouldn't go back to sleep (she's a champion sleeper, btw - this is not like her). After about an hour she started sticking her fingers in her mouth and crying, and sticking her toungue out like she had eaten something hot. I started to worry she was having an allergic reaction, but she hadn't eaten anything since last night so it seemed improbable. Finally gave her some Benadryl just in case, and now she's sleeping. Meanwhile, Nate's still sick in the next room.

Today is my usual painting day, but somehow I don't think it's going to happen!! We were also supposed to head down to Denver tonight to finish packing up the house, but I don't think that's going to happen either.

The one good thing? I was supposed to deliver some paintings to a gallery today, but we changed it to next Tuesday instead. At least I don't have to worry about that!!

Anyhow, this sucks. Just thought I'd share...

On Being a Mom

Since it's Mother's Day, I was thinking a little bit about how having Aspen just lifts me up and brightens my life. On anything less than a good day, having a child just makes things better than they would be otherwise. Maybe it has to do with her innocence, I don't know... It's trite to say, but she's just changed my life.

This is all said better by one of my favorite bands...

Well there's far too many questions to ask,
To answer all of them tonight.
For I wear too many masks,
To tell if any of them are wrong or right.
And confusion casts a shadow upon me,
Like a great big cloud in the sky.
And now I pray for rain
Cause it's been so long since I let myself cry.

For so long, I've sang this sad ole song.
And it feels like my time is up.
For she came and landed in my arms
And she filled my half empty cup.
Yes she filled my half empty cup.

Now I look up above me,
And I thank that Great Old God in the sky.
For telling me my cup ain't half empty.
Just took my little girl to show my why.

There you are.
Right in front of me,
A brand new day,
Sunrise Over Sea ,
No longer,
My cup half empty,
Cause there you are...
You're Peaches & Cream to me...

All I know is
All I know and
I love you."

"Peaches & Cream"
John Butler Trio

Back to Work?

"Reflections"
Oil on Canvas
16x20"
2006




I don’t talk about my day job here very often, because, well, you never know who is going to stumble upon your blog. But even though this blog is pretty much about art, I do in fact have a job that has been responsible for funding my art habit thus far. Since having Aspen, I’ve been sorting through what to do with my day job so that I could be the mom I want to be and still have time to paint. My maternity leave is up this week, so after pretending I didn’t have a job for twelve weeks, I was forced to make a decision.

I graduated from college in 2000 with a degree in Chemical Engineering. After graduation, Nate and I got married and moved down to Houston since we both had job offers there. I worked for ExxonMobil right out of college, and my job essentially entailed creating computer programs to optimize the amount of money that the chemical plant would make on a given day, depending on the purchase price of different kinds of oil, and the selling price of various chemical byproducts. Exciting, eh? I spent all day every day working to fill the pockets of one of the richest companies in the world – not exactly the most fulfilling job in the world!

I was so miserable that I picked up oil painting to give me something that I could be passionate about outside of work, and after two years I decided that Houston just wasn’t for me. I spent a few months searching for jobs in Denver, Nate got his company to agree to transfer him, and we moved back to Colorado in 2002.

When I interviewed for jobs in Denver, I interviewed with my current boss under the assumption that I would be hired to work in the oil and gas industry. As luck would have it, when I finally hired on, I got put to work in a different division of the company working on air pollution control systems for the power industry.

For the past four years, I’ve spent my time designing emissions control systems for power plants and oil companies, and doing comparative cost estimates for different emerging control technologies. I’m not in love with engineering, but as far as engineering jobs go, it was right up my alley. I’m a bit of a tree-hugger at heart, and I liked being involved in the effort to keep our air clean.

I did well enough at my day job that I had a lead position on my last project, and was moving up the corporate ladder. Problem was, I wanted to to have a family, and moving up the corporate ladder in an engineering job isn’t really conducive to the type of family role that I wanted to have. When I got pregnant, I knew I was going to have to step down in responsibility, or quit my job for things to work. Before I went on leave, I told my boss that I would only be returning part time.

Today I went to lunch with my boss and project manager, and told them honestly that I just can’t see myself putting Aspen in daycare this year, so I won’t be returning to the office. The thing is, I’m hesitant to quit my job completely at this point after building up some expertise in my area, so it was a tough conversation to have. After a bit of discussion, we agreed that I can switch my status as an employee such that I’m still on the payroll, but don’t get benefits or have an office. If there’s any work that comes up on an occasional basis that I can do from home, I’ll do it on an hourly basis. Otherwise, if I don’t do anything for months, no big deal.

I think it’s a good solution, as I’ll be able to keep my foot in the door and keep up to date in my area, but I’ll be able to stay at home with Aspen and work on kicking my art career into gear. When I do work, the paycheck will be a welcome financial bonus, but when I don’t I can focus on my art.

This morning I figured I’d be quitting my job, but now this is where things stand. Guess I’ll just have to see how it goes!

Time Flies...

Whew - motherhood is a bit demanding!! Aspen is a little over a month old now (which I can't believe), and I'm working on getting my bearings straight so I can start to get a little bit more done on the art front.

The first few weeks she was home she slept all the time, so I actually got down into the studio and managed to finish a painting between feedings. The past week or so she's become more active and awake, so my time has gotten more limited. It's great because she's a lot more fun now, but tough because I have to juggle my basic activities (showering, eating, laundry) with feeding her and keeping her happy. Nate has been a sweetheart the past two weekends and hung out with her in the afternoons so I could paint, and I managed to finish a 24x36" mountain scene that I had done an underpainting for before Aspen was born. I had hoped to deliver this painting to the gallery before Thanksigiving, because I had a hunch it would sell before Christmas, but no such luck. I'm happy that I've managed to finish it now though - if it would just dry, I could pop it in a frame a deliver it. I'll post pictures of the new paintings once I have a chance to use the camera for something other than taking cute pictures of my baby!

Anyhow, motherhood has been a nice surprise so far. I've always loved kids, but have never been a big baby person, so I wasn't sure how I'd do the first few months. So far, I've been enjoying it, and I have NO desire to return to my engineering job right now. For the last month, I've been totally wrapped up in being a mom, and making the transition to being an artist. The being a mom part hasn't left much time for the being an artist part, but that can wait a few months, and I can make plans for next year in the meantime!

My Latest Work of Art...

We welcomed our little baby into the world a little over a week ago now, just in time for thanksgiving!! Her name is Aspen Elise Peterson, and she was born a 10:54 pm on Saturday, November 18th. She was a couple of weeks early and weighed in at 6 lbs. 2 oz. I happen to think she's the cutest thing ever, but it's quite possible that I'm just being biased.

Anyhow, needless to say, I haven't been getting much done other than adjusting to life with a baby. I was supposed to finish and deliver a bunch of paintings to the gallery the weekend she was born, but my water broke Saturday morning and ruined those plans! Hopefully I'll have some time to get back into the studio sometime this week or next. We'll see!!

Expanding

So, I was standing at the copy machine at work yesterday when some man I didn't know walked up and stood right next to me. I was wondering why he was invading my personal space at the copier when he proceeded to pat my belly, then pat his, and say, "You better watch out or your belly's gonna look like mine!!"

Then he paused to think a bit before saying, "Well, except that you're going to lose yours overnight one of these days, and I'm stuck with mine."

I'm glad to know that my body is starting to resemble that of a middle-aged man with a beer gut.

Fabulous.

Actually, I can't deny that I've entertained myself in meetings for the last nine months by imagining how many months pregnant I would be before my belly looked like each man's in the room. What can I say? Male engineers have beer bellys, and it makes for a good way to waste some time when stuck in a boring meeting.













I only dare to post these pictures because I've had a gazillion people request pictures of my rapidly expanding belly, and I figure it would just be easier to satisfy everyone's bizarre fascination with the pregnant belly than come up with more excuses for why I don't have any pictures of me pregnant.

Anyhow, I've come a long way between 7 weeks and 35 weeks pregnant, and I'm at the stage now where I can't quite believe that I still have approximately five more weeks for my belly to grow. Not to mention that I don't remember EVER being the size I am in the 7 week photo above, nor can I imagine ever being that size again.

I Heart Pickles and Ice Cream

I don't think I've said anything here yet, so for those who don't already know - I'm pregnant!!

Actually, remember a while ago when I was posting on the status of my New Year's Resolutions? I made a statement that I was NOT pregnant. Well, I was wrong. Turns out I was - just didn't know it until the next day!

I'm right at about 12 weeks (due Dec. 5th), and we had our first ultrasound last week where we got to see our little bubble moving around like crazy in-utero. Needless to say, Nate and I are really excited - this is going to be a year of a lot of changes for us!

My hope right now is that I'll be able to quit my job and stay home to be a mom and paint. I don't know what that will look like since it's still a long way off, but I know that my current job and having kids wouldn't mix. The stress overload and the lack of any schedule flexibility whatsoever make it something I just don't want to try - especially since I don't care all that much for engineering. So, if things work out I'll paint a few days a week and be a mom and see how that works out for a while.

Anyhow, it's been an overwhelming couple of months. For starters, I'm completely exhausted. Luckily I'm not puking, but I've had a hard time getting much done as it is. My painting marathon in April left me completely burned out, and I haven't done much painting since then. Because I'm planning to quit my job eventually, I've completely lost all motivation at work. And because I'm not getting anything done at work OR in the studio, I feel like a complete sloth. Unfortunately, feeling like a sloth when I have a lot to do just makes me more overwhelmed!!

So, I'm hoping things will improve soon. I've been so tired that I just don't seem to care about anything, and that just isn't me. I've been feeling a bit better the past few days, and I'm hoping it's a sign that I'll get more energy in the 2nd trimester. Nate and I went for a nice bike ride Saturday night, and hiked 6 miles yesterday. I had to take it a lot easier than I'm used to, but I felt like myself again for the first time in weeks. Hopefully the feeling sticks around - I have a commission for two landscapes that I NEED to get started on, and I need to start getting more done at work!!

Oh, and for the record, I ALWAYS love pickles and ice cream (by themselves, not together), but I was at a loss for a title today, so there you go...